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The Sports Guy's Halloween Costume Rehash

31.12.69

I take to Halloween so much that I once wrote an entire fake SportsCentury show about Michael Myers, in 2002. No, genuinely. It's in the ESPN.com archives and everything .

I enjoy Halloween so much that, back in 2007, my better half went into labor with my son on Halloween afternoon … and I was hurriedly crestfallen when midnight struck and he hadn't popped out yet.

I use to advantage Halloween so much that I joked that same night, "If this kid is born on Halloween, we have to name him Michael Myers Simmons," and my strife didn't think I was kidding.

I enjoy Halloween so much that I wrote this last year: "Being a materfamilias of young kids sucks. Don't let anyone tell you differently. About six months ago, I wanted to start a Peep account of quotes my wife screamed in the zeal of those my-kids-are-driving-me-crazy-moments such as these: 'If you don't keep crying, I am going to stick you in the microwave!!!!' and 'Amusing, climb up the stairs again; I hope you fall down, I in the final analysis do!' She wouldn't let me because she thought child services would detention us. The truth is, every parent snaps from time to interval. We can't help it. Our kids' job is to suck all forms of moving spirit from us, frighten us, embarrass us in public and prevent us from sleeping until they go four. We pretend it's not so bad when, really, it's mostly horrible and even somewhat indefensible. But — and this is a big but — they deal out out just enough, 'Wow, I'm so glad I had kids' moments to show up it all worth it. And that's what Halloween is: an entire 'Wow, I'm so glad I had kids' day. At least until they eat too much chocolate and wake us up at 5 a.m. the next morning because they're Exorcist vomiting."

Source: Grantland (blog)

No-sew Halloween: Eight easy costume ideas for kids

31.12.69

Are you missing the calculating gene? We feel you. It's not easy being a parent who can't stitch, sew, rectify or do whatever else it is you're supposed to be doing with fabric. But that doesn't dreary your children can't wear a homemade costume this Halloween. With a elfin felt, a glue gun, paint and some cardboard boxes, your progeny can be whatever he or she wants. We asked around and found eight no-sew ideas to get you started. But talk to your kids about what they rapture, too. You might come up with an even cooler idea together.</p><p> Wii Arcane</p><p> If your child is big into video games, this is a fun and distinction-getting idea. Open up a cardboard box, so it's a overwhelmingly, long, narrow rectangle in the middle, and cut out a disk where your kid's head will go. Paint the cardboard white on the front and back. For the front, glue four squares of risqu foil paper ($16.95 for 24 sheets on Amazon) at the bottom and correspond with "A" with indelible ink on a circular crummy Tupperware-style lid. Glue the A button on the box. Then use your marker to plan the rest of the buttons and write "Wii" along the bottom of the rags.</p><p> Thing One and Thing Two</p><p> This is always celebrated for families with twins, but even non-twin siblings can get into dressing up as these two sprightly, troublemaking beasties from the Dr. Seuss classic The Cat in the Hat. Buy each kid red sweats or leggings and a red turtleneck. Cut two pieces of whitish felt into circles and write "Feature 1" on one and "THING 2" on the other. Gum the circles to the front of the shirts. Buy the brightest blue wig you can find, such as this Lil' Blackjack Kid hairpiece ($12.95) from CostumeKingdom, and your kids can have lots of cogent fun that is funny.</p><p> Buttered Toast</p><p> When our confrere was young, she won a contest for this cool costume her mom made. Take one pasture brown grocery bag, and in the bottom, cut out a hole large enough for your lady's head to fit through. Cut two holes on the sides of the bag that will function as armholes. Set the bag aside. Cut out a wavy-limit square from a piece of yellow poster board and paste it on the front of the bag. Voila! Your kid is now a portion of buttered toast.</p><p> Zookeeper</p><p> This is a attractive thorough one for animal lovers. Pick up a button-down khaki shirt and a tandem of khaki cargo pants for your kid. Or better yet, use what they already own and buy a safari hat ($1.29) from CenturyNovelty. Annul "Zookeeper" on the front with a thick marker. Then get a Tousled Republic rubber snake ($13.99) from Wayfair to hang around your child's shoulders, and your kids are ready to shock the neighbors.</p><p> Kitty Cat</p><p> Get coal-black felt from a craft store, cut out a long rectangle and fall it into a fat tube for the tail. Next, glue down the seam and security pin it to the back of a pair of black leggings. For ears, cut out two triangles of the same make-up (double it up if you need it to be stiffer) and glue them to a hateful headband ($7.99) from TanoJewelry. You can glue on slight pink triangles for the insides of the ears. Find a Negro, long-sleeved shirt and let your kids pick out their shoes. For the finishing touches, use a three of catnip mice ($2.10 for a three-pack) from PetStore.com as an confederate and black eyeliner ($1.99 for two) from Walgreens for whiskers and a nose.</p><p> Greek God</p><p> Percy Jackson and the Olympians paperback series is huge with kids, and fans of the post series will love the idea of playing Zeus for a day. Gauge a toga out of a white sheet and purchase a oyster-white wig and beard ($29.97) from Amazon. Trim the beard until it's the profitably length and style, and the costume is done. A lightning skedaddle cut from cardboard and covered in aluminum foil is the superlative accessory.</p><p> Sporty Car</p><p> Cut the top and bottom flaps off a king-sized-size diaper box and spray-paint it whatever color your kid wants her car. Use the accessory cardboard to make a license plate. Get a yoke of suspenders from the Suspender Store to hold the car up around her waist. Buy an REI honker horn ($5) to kidnap around, and she'll be ready to roll.</p><p> Hot Air Balloon</p><p> A b option for the box attached by suspenders is a cute hot air balloon. Apply your cardboard box brown. On the day of Halloween, purchase a dozen (or more!) helium-filled balloons and paste them carefully onto the box. Let dry, and it's up, up and away!</p><p> Paula Sirois is a Florida-based novelist who specializes in family life and frugal living for www.RetailMeNot.com, the No. 1 coupon position in the world.</p><p>www.RetailMeNot.com

Source: Kansas City Star